The Secret of the Mitchell Hall Lights

Once upon a time, when the proverbial dinosaurs roamed the terrazzo, each class was dismissed from Mitchell Hall when its class-colored light was illuminated on the staff tower. Firsties got to leave almost immediately after, "Wing take seats," and the smacks were finally allowed to leave when they had just enough time to make it to 5th period class, (assuming they could all run 60 miles an hour). Of course, the tradition of using the class lights to dismiss the wing from Mitchell Hall died, just like every other tradition does at The Zoo. Every few years, one of the generals starts waxing nostalgic and reinstates the class lights policy, but the wing never uses them for more than a few months before they are abandoned once again. Some cadets make it through four years without ever seeing the class lights in use; others see the class lights policy implemented, (and subsequently trashed,) five or six times before they graduate.

You may think that this is just another example of the Pendulum Principle in action, but you are wrong. There is a reason why the class lights so infrequently illuminate the dank gray interior of Mitchell Hall. There is a reason most cadets know the class lights only as vestigial organs of an Academy that went extinct years ago. Most of the waiters in Mitchell Hall know the reason, but will vehemently deny that they know anything. In fact, if you want to see somebody get REALLY nervous, ask your waiter about the secret to the class lights; he'll either ignore you or feign ignorance. But the truth is, beneath his stolid facade, that waiter is scared shitless.

But eDodo isn't scared. We think it is high time that a new generation of cadets learned the Secret of the Class Lights. Our lawyers have advised us that to avoid liability we must not tell you the secret outright. We are permitted, however, to relate to you a story about a couple of former Mitchell Hall waiters, named Jebediah Bradley and Jose Milton-Ancira . . .

On October 16th, 1964, ten freshmen from CS-09 went on a spirit mission to hang a banner from the staff tower. Like most smacks do, they started playing around with the equipment up there. They said, "Breakfast break," into the microphone until they were exhausted from laughter. Then they started playing with the class lights, and that's where the trouble began. Jose and Jebediah, along with a third waiter, charged the staff tower and tried to stop the smacks from discovering the secret, but they did not get there in time. The horror that those three waiters saw cannot be described here (again, due to that liability thing,) but suffice it to say that the third waiter died from fright, and Jose and Jebediah ran out of Mitchell Hall and never returned. In fact, Jose and Jebediah were so shaken by the event that they vowed never to work for anyone else again so they could always call the shots and prevent things such as this. And that meant they had to start their own business.

They chose to start a game company. They had their share of disasters as they tried to learn the business, and they nearly starved their first year away from Mitchell Hall. (Ironic isn't it, that two men who had so recently provided sustenance to over 4000 hungry cadets couldn't afford a Big Mitch's Sandwich between the two of them?) Anyway, one day Jose had an idea that changed their fortune in a way only the literary geniuses at eDodo can describe. On September 20th, 1965, Jose Milton-Ancira said to Jebediah Bradley, "Hey man, why don't we make an electronic game that works like those damnable lights in Mitchell Hall?" Jebediah agreed, and the company called Milton Ancira-Bradley released the first version of their now-famed game three months later. They named it after their fallen comrade-in-platters, the third waiter who died of fright before he could flee, "Simon." Perhaps you have played this game before. They sold $4.67 million of these games over the next five years, and nearly every kid in America got one for Christmas.

In early 1970, Jose dropped the "Ancira" from his surname because it translates roughly into "shitty games don't work" in Chinese.

There are 6 levels to this game. Only after completing all 6 levels will you discover the Secret of the Class Lights.

The game below requires the Authorware Player
Authorware Player

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