The Hate Mail

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Date: 4/13/10

Given the slight chance nobody has e-mailed you lately. From 12-27-2006 to now has episode nineteen gone into production? The Hate Machine would be a nice distraction from my job(s) as a fashion photographer with a bad attitude & an art nude photographer aka person who sometimes photographs women naked in public...and just doesn't think of the children. 

From "outside the fence" 
Tom

Hey Tom, thanks for the great email. I truly enjoyed the poem and the photo. Unfortunately, when I turned 14, I could no longer be bought by pictures of nude women, but it was a valiant effort. Also unfortunate is the fact that I'm getting paid pretty decent money to do animation for real. There may be an episode 19... someday. There may be a DVD of THM episodes and extras. This all hinges upon me making enough money to tell the world to fuck off and to disappear to THM CENTCOM in an undisclosed location in Costa Rica, where I see plenty of naked women on a regular basis. As for now, I still have to return to the real world for eight months of the year.

Anyway, THM is not dead. I'm just currently in sellout mode so I can earn enough freedom to get back to my roots.

Now, if you sent me a real woman as a bribe, I'd reconsider.


Date: 4/13/10

Hey this site is blocked at the air force academy, could you put it on YouTube so more cadets can see it?

Sent from my iPhone

If you had something other than an iPhone, you'd be able to veiw Flash files on that.


Date: 7/10/07

We're sitting here cussing the zoo and looking at some of your funnies at my house in Germany. Bro, I hope your well and let me know if you still use this email.

- Nate

Nice to hear from an old '95er. But Nate, I would have thought an Air Force Academy grad would know the difference between "your" and "you're." Oh wait, you're a victim of Georgia public schools. Never mind!


Date: 3/19/07

Hey! I'm just checking on you. Are you eating well?
Things going ok with you? I hope so...

I'm not being fanboy to you.... I was just thinking you needed someone to ask "how are you?"... I know its hard for people like us... When I mean us... I mean the people out there who creates and writes entertainment stuff... Yup... I'm one of them... Always planning for our next move.... Then someone place a road block in our path... I think I said too much...

Well Good luck man!

- Russeru

"Said too much?" My last bowel movement had more substance.


Date: 3/2/07

Hey, I just ran across your Hate Machine cartoons and am laughing harder than I have in a long time. I recognize [mojo]'s voice, too. I'm teaching high school and lunch just ended, so I'll have to wait until after school to listen to the rest, unfortunately. How have you been?

- Martian '96

It's funny how we take things for granted. You're on lunch break at a high school watching this crap on your computer, and when I go on lunch, I leave the computer and go stare at high school girls.


Date: 9/5/06

Hey, here's an idea......WHY DON'T YOU FINISH THE CURRENT EPISODE BEFORE YOU BEGIN THINKING ABOUT THE ONE AFTER THAT?!? At this rate we're going to have ideas for "What's Happening With THM Now" before we even get closure with the current cast and crew. Get a grip on your so-called schedule and be like Van Hagar: "Come on baby finish what you've started."

- Guido

Just let me do what I do best. I don't go to your job and yank the dick out of your mouth...


Date: 8/29/06

I heard that you have no ideas for Episode 19. So I made a "Fun Idea List" for you! *Points at you with both hands*

  1. Airforce Training : Have not see any of them do any Airforce Training... But
    most of them wouldn't do any training at all...
  2. Field Trip! : Every one takes trip to a Airforce Bases. Some of them uncover
    secrets or cause trouble. You can make a joke about Star Gate SG-1 at Cheyenne
    Mountain.
  3. Spin offs! : Make a spin off of some the characters if they had there own
    show.
  4. What if? : What if they are French Canadians Airforce Cadets?
  5. War Games! Paintball! : Billy Ray would kick the shit out of every one.
  6. Roommate : Leonard's Roommate... Ummmm... Something happens to him...? Or
    happens to be a girl... lol
  7. Major gone? : Major Dunkel gets replace by a other Major.
  8. Cadets : Something about Toner, Sounderson, and Sam. I just think there a
    story right there...

Well those are some crazy Fun Ideas... Don't care if you don't use them... But I like to say... Sweet Ass work you did over the years! Keep it up!

-Rasseru

Awesome email. I do, in fact, have a general idea or two. Here's a hint: Mac is a major character in 19.

Without giving anything away, two of your ideas are VERY similar to ideas I've had and not yet executed. I can assure you one or two of them will never be used, and the rest are great. I might borrow one down the road!

I considered having a contest to write the script for the next THM at some point, but that definitely won't happen until episode twenty-something at least. A certain professor in Fairchild Hall has already crafted a scene and sent it in years ago. I've held on to it, and I'll be ganking a chunk of it soon.

Excellent work.


Date: 7/27/06

WTFO? Do you need a liver transplant or something? I have a few dudes in mind if you need subjects, er, donors.

Seriously, bring us episode or bring Cadet Makahini...uh...Makahi....Makahiniho death!

Once again, the draw of big money is taking me away from THM. I have just gotten so many good paying deals that I don't have time to finish it. The script is finished, and the episode is 70% completed. So, no I don't need a liver. Unless the offer includes some farva beans and a nice Chianti.

For what it's worth, when Episode 18 is completed, it will be the longest episode in the lineup.


Date: 4/23/06

hey, ping, just curious if i'm gonna get to watch the next hate machine episode b4 i graduate. i know you're busy, but there hasn't been an update in 3 and a half months, and i was just wondering when the next one's coming.

thanks

Assuming you're a smack, I can almost guarantee you'll see one before you graduate. Actually, I am working on it. I have the idea for Episode 20 as well, just no idea for 19 yet. But first, I gotta finish this bitch. Script is finished. Voices are being recorded. Half of the episode is already completed.

sounds like a good plan, chief! thanks for the update, and i'll keep watch anxiously! oh, and remember a few months ago when CS-24's AOC made the seniors go out and get beat in the snow for 8 hours (i drew a not-funny toon about it out of sheer anger and disgust)? well, he took the whole squad on a 9-hr march this last saturday on my first "free" weekend since february...just thought you'd like to know that this place is still "gayer than Christmas", and we're all sick of being "stuck in this f***ing experimental squadron".

happy tooning!

Best. Reply. Ever.

Thanks.


Date: 3/28/06

"I find your lack of a new THM disturbing!"

- Guido

Oh great. The Star Wars geeks are coming out of the woodwork. When are you going to get a life? And don't you know that the line is from Episode IV when Lord Vader addresses Admiral Motti on the Death Star, not from Episode VI when Moff Jerjerrod confronts Vader on the second Death Star? Like I said, get a life!

In response to your comment, however, I continue to be slammed with incoming contract work. It's a danger looming like a shadow over everything I've built here. But things have developed that will insure productivity. I've just made a deal that will keep the workload under control forever. That's right -- I've talked my boss into contracting my day job out to me. This should free up some valuable THM time.


Date: 3/20/06

Hey Ping,

How come you suck so bad you can't even make a new Hate Machine episode like once every two years? Why don't you get off your lazy ass and do something with your life? You know what your problem is? You're an anti-semite and a crappy drawer. That's drawer as in someone who tries to draw things not drawer like in a dresser you idiot.

Your ex-roomate

Go to Hell, you Mormon bastard.


Date: 2/21/06

More!!! More! More!!!

Wizzo

I know, I know... I had the episode halfway finished by Christmas, and once New Year's hit, I had about twelve clients pounding on my door. Damn economic recovery. As soon as THM pays my mortgage, it will top my to-do list. Until then, it takes the backburner to the paying projects! In the meantime, buy a t-shirt.


Date: 12/16/05

Is there any way to get a hold of the introduction to the hate machine episodes?

thanks
MAC

Big Mac... Can I call you Big Mac? Not only is there a way to get the theme, but there is also a way to get a lot of the fan-requested sounds. Just visit the THM soundboard on the media page.


Date: 10/1/05

Ping!:

Can you send me a copy of the picture used in the "Hate Machine" ad at the bottom of your homepage, WHOA!

Bull

How did I know someone would ask for that? Don't hurt yourself, buddy.


Image by www.strangecosmos.com


Date: 9/26/05

So I'm here at my new job as an XO for this squadron doing a bunch of admin shit when I decided to go to edodo and get some laughs. I go to episode 17 Deer, Deer, Deer, Deer and begin to watch it. As it gets about 3-5 minutes into it it's black screen with this chick moaning and screaming in ecstasy...suddenly my boss comes into the office to get a cup of coffee and hears everything...he's like "is somebody cooking hotdogs or something?"...I was like "I don't know what this is I just hit the link that somebody sent me"...fucking EDODO!!!!!!!

Dirty

I don't get it... "Cooking hot dogs?" Sounds like your boss needs to get laid.


Date: 8/23/05

i know you probably get a bunch of emails about THM, but i think an episode about them going on ops would be awesome. since cadets go to ops every summer now, you could work it in like a flashback so not to mess up your timeline. i was just thinking about how you can get a place like Minot N.D. or you could go to Aviano on just a luck of the draw. Also, this year there was a girl who went to Ops in Japan who went OTF into Tokyo without telling anyone and her friends covered for her. she was missing for over 24 hrs, had cops looking for her and all. then she comes back totally ignorant that anything was wrong (one of my friends sat command center at the hill while this happened). i'm sure there are even better stories you could use, but that's the only one i know for now.

Sincerely,
James

I love the idea. Now, work a few explosions, some droids, the word "dip," and a can of corn into it somehow, and we'll talk.


Date: 8/22/05

Sir, Kevin H****** said you are the guy I need to send E-dodo quality material to. My crew and I put this on our door on our deployment to Kuwait. The E-dodo was represented well.

Seth

Out-fucking-standing. You rock. If anyone else has a great photo like this, please send it! And don't call us "sir."


Date: 6/17/05

Hi Ping,
I got your webtoon passed on to me by a family member serving in Iraq and just wanted to say it was great. My only problem is there is no way in hell the French-Canadians could conquer Michigan, we'd kick their asses and take their damn maple syrup. Worst case, even if the military does pussy out over the next few decades, but the gangs in Detroit will be getting worse. So we'd still have a great line of defense. Just tell them the Quebecious have pot, big assed babes and are wearing the other gang's color and point them north.
Problem solved.

Keep up the good work,
Carrick

P.S. The day I got this email I had my USAF teeshirt on, a gift from some officers who saw we wearing my normal Navy gear and decided I needed better clothing.

I like the idea. However, in the next few decades, there won't be any such things as "gangs." In fact, you won't be able to say the "g-word" because it will be politically incorrect.

Besdies, by that time gangs will be about as cool as a taffy pull with your parents. The cool thing to do will be to plug your Neck Jack™ into your Vaporvision™ and play Mario Party XXXIII™ with dead relatives via your Immorta-Modem™ while downloading a Giga-Size™ #4 Value Meal from your McCyberDriveThruTron™.

At least that's how I envision it.


Date: 10/5/04

Bhaha haa. Oh Christ I didn’t know there were hate machines still being written. I just Watched “The Two Towers” and laughed my fucking balls off. Hahaha My favourite part has to be about the gov’t spending / budget shit. That and the tweets? “crashing” into into the Two Towers. That and the 53 fucks made my day, and miss mojo’s Keanu Reeves looking ass.

- Digital Negro

Thanks for the email, DN. That and the theme song to The Hate Machine. That and the joy you bring to one and all around you.


Date: 11/10/03

I was just wondering if another episode of THM was in the works. I know they take a while to make, I was just wondering if I had anything nice to look forward to in this fucked up world.

~a devoted fan

Now, turn that frown upside down, gloomypants! There is ALWAYS a THM in the works!


Date: 7/26/03

Man-

Found your site trying to send in my reunion shit on the aog web page - funniest shit I have seen in a long time - GREAT! I have been watching it since I logged on - fucking hilarious!

Glad you found something to keep you busy. Don't forget about your reunion.


Date: 2/2/03

Dont stop putin fuckin shit on that fuckin shit, they sux shity shit shity. and WAY TO GO, u'r shit is tha best. The hate machine is fuckin cool. How many people in 1 day are get on www.edodo.org ?

G.

Either this is a fan mail or a death threat. Either way, thanks for your interest!


Date: 1/6/03

Hello Ping.

I'm a brazilian cadet and i saw your work in Edodo.com

Is a incredible job. But you are not dismissed ?

Can you make any episode about west point cadets?

Go air force. beat navy, suck army....

Brazil has a military?


Date: 12/14/02

Folks

FYI: Maj Dunkel and C2C Leonard made the BehSci 110/200 Final as a multiple choice question

Steve

Now, that is cool.


Date:12/12/02

Props on the latest Hate Machine, man. I laughed my ass off, especially the Star Wars spoof. Have you seen that site, by the way? www.starwarsspoofs.com Funny stuff!

Later,
GUIDO

What are you doing going to other sites for humor? You two-timing whore!


Date: 12/10/02

I really enjoy the hate machine. So much so that it inspired me to try and do a parody of life here at Georgia Tech. Being a CS major, I thought picking up flash would be easy but I'm wrong. How'd you learn to do people like that? Know of any good sites that are fitted to helping those who want to make advanced animations like yours but have no idea where to start, or even how?

Thanks,

Michael

I was inspired to play guitar by Kirk Hammet. So I bought a guitar... looked easy enough. After a couple days, I put the guitar down and went back to something I was good at.


Date: 12/10/02

Sir/Ma'am, I love the hate machine, just like every other cadet here and thank you for your dark humor. I am writing because I have an idea for a Hate Machine episode. The basics idea is that there could be an epic battle of Mitchell Hall workers and MarTech workers. It could be like a Braveheart/Patriot/Gladiator/Saving Private Ryan style battle with the MarTech workers using their mops and razor sharp sponges and the Mitchell Hall workers using the serving utensils, bowls, carts, and metal pitchers. You also could invent two new cadet wing positions: Mitchell Hall Commander and MarTech Commander and have them lead their respective armies. Just an idea brought about by the willingness of both groups to train cadets every day. Thank you for providing us with endless hours of entertainment.

Very Respectfully,

Cadet Fourth Class X
Cadet Squadron 36
United States Air Force Academy

Tell you what... You can start your own cartoon. Trust me, you'll have plenty of time over the next 4 years.


Date: 10/24/02

Who is Ping? I have been a fan of his comics since we were cadets in the paper rag days. The Hate Machine is definitely a work of art. You guys never cease to amaze me with it. Keep up the awesome work.

Eric

I am.


Date: 10/23/02

Damn, man... I watched the first two episodes of Sealth Force. You're right, man, what a bunch of bullishite crap! Really awful. How many do I have to watch? Ughn. Real cheesy. If I wanted that kind of info on the Air Force, I'd rent a fucking movie.

Ingenious line of the day: "We need a medic, FAST"

Karen

And why is it that everybody gets a cool code name except for the Mexican guy? "Doc, Ratchet, Jet, Talon... meet SANCHEZ."


Date: 10/2/02

Anywayz, just wanted to let you know that I got the latest THM episodes dl'd. Good shit, nice production value, can't believe all the effort you put into those. Your mom must be proud.

-Turd

I guess you could say that. In the same way Hitler's mother was proud.


Date: 9/30/02

He's bald, middle aged, hopelessly unhip and has a spare tire like the Michelin man. I'm.....well never mind! You guys have any heartburn with me using Maj Dunkel for an avatar? (That is assuming I can figure out how to do so!)

Thanks!

Kevin

Maybe instead of posting in chat rooms you should get out there and work off that spare tire... you think?

UPDATE: Avatars are now available on the Media Page.


Date: 8/24/02

Before I was inprocessed, I wrote you and asked you a few things about the Academy. Now, I am on the Hill as a 4 dig, and I can't even look at the Dodo because the government has firewalled it. Can you believe that crap? Well, I am kind of cheating by going through ask.com to look at the Dodo, but this is going to get annoying real fast. Can you offer any help on how to break this wall down put up by people who used to support the Dodo themselves?

It's a shame because I finally understood a lot of the stuff on the Dodo, but now no cadets can be a part of it. Let me know what to do and I will do it (just like a good little 4 degree).

Thank you for your time and consideration in this matter,

Very respectfully,

Cadet Fourth Class Anonymous

(it's not like we all don't look the same anyways...oops, I used a contraction)

PS - I don't really know why I signed anonymous, it is not like you can't read my email address and figure that one out. Oops, another contraction!

You shouldn't be allowed internet access anyway. You should be out in the hall calling minutes with you chin grinding against your adam's apple. I'm sure the French Canadians are reading this right now and plotting their invasion.


Date: 7/19/02

liked the hate machine.

how about some episodes with honor code rats or lets promote minorities/women to show military diversity.

your stereotypes are very funny.

Is this some kind of haiku? What are you, a retarded Chinaman?


Date: 12/13/01

Ping,

Hey did you notice that they took Stealth Force off airforce.com? Its about time!! Does that mean no more stealth force jokes?

When could I expect a Billy Ray episode, you think?

Thanks, man

Stone

We have managed to dig up most of the old Stealth Force episodes. CS-43 will always have a home here. A couple of the later episodes eluded us, but that's ok. You'll be slitting your wrists halfway through episode 2.


Date: 11/21/01

I watched episode 13 with my kids and we loved it (aside from my verrrry dorky voice). You are very talented. Maybe you should be working for Spielberg instead. ;D

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

~ Sue

You watch this with your kids? That is so verrrry wrong."Mommy, why are the two men humping?"


Date: 11/6/01

Hello,
I am a huge fan of the Hate Machine cartoon you created, and I have tried to follow it loyally. I've been upset lately though, because I haven't seen a new episode in a very long time. The last one I saw was "Episode 12: Two?" Now every time I check to see if there is a new episode I see Failed to execute script '/scripts/adserver/ssirand.exe': Win32 Error Code = 2 at the top of the screen. What's going on? How can I fix this so that I can watch a new episode? Is there a new episode?
Yours in Hate,
Rob

No, there is no new episode. I have been working the past 5 months a new banner ad. I took the ad server offline while I ftp it up. It should be finished uploading in 3 weeks.

Just one more question. I am a prospective cadet at the Academy, and don't know much about the Dodo. My Dad (c/o '77) explained it to me a little bit and I think I pretty much understand how it works, but a few things didn't make sense. What happens to the eDodo when you're no longer at the Academy? What will happen to the Hate Machine? How do you pass on your editorship when you are an anonymous entity? You do a great job with the eDodo, and I don't want to see it end before I'm even at the Academy, and can experience all the great stuff I have read about in the Dodo for myself. I hope you can understand. Thanks.
-Rob
PS- Last question: How did you find a porn star who would let you use her voice on THM? Just wondering.

You said "Just one more question." Then you asked four. Let me guess... You divide every number you say by 4? Does that mean your dad graduated in the class of '308?


Date: 10/18/01

Ping,
Why dont you do an episode over a day in the life of Billy Ray? Maybe let us know what caused him to have that dead bird up his ass.

Just a thought.
Stone

The bird died after it crawled up there. Duh.